Random Musings by Frodosco

Not Going Through With Promises (even to yourself)

Not Going Through With Promises (even to yourself)

This is not Top Ten Tuesday. It is in fact nothing like Top Ten Tuesday because I’m not even doing this post in list format, at least not that I know of and surely not at this point in the post. Today was one of those days where I considered not posting, throwing my blog every day this year challenge out the window for the second straight year and giving up on even blogging all that regularly.

The reason for this isn’t some mean comment I received (I don’t get those because I don’t generate enough feeling in any of my posts except that one DNF review I did that got me all the annoyed tweets), or because I don’t enjoy blogging in general, but is due to the constant realization that outside of a handful of people no one would care if I didn’t post at all, let alone every day. Is that my fault because I don’t market myself pretty much ever and/or due to my lack of attempting any author guest posts or regular giveaways? Absolutely. Does it make it any easier especially when trying to post every day? Nope.

I’m at a shitty point in life at the moment. (Yep this is the more woe is me crap, skip ahead if you would like or just close this tab) I realized the degree I’m going for isn’t for me at all (computer programming, I hate coding and suck at it), I likely won’t get back into the university I love (University of Minnesota) to pursue history (my passion) instead, and I got laid off from my crappy job which is the only thing in the area (I don’t drive because I fail at life some more). So ya, most things are sucking right now.

However, I don’t want to take it out on the few people that do read my drivel and not post at all, but to say I have motivation to keep doing this post/day challenge would be a lie. If you pay close attention most of my posts have been going on late at night, that’s because it is the farthest I can put it off without not posting, then I feel guilty and just do it. What’s one more day?

So today was supposed to be Top Ten Tuesday with the ten best books of whatever genre I chose. Instead you get this. Oops, guess I failed at the not punishing you guys huh? Not going through with goals, or promises, or challenges, even when only yourself really cares (as is the case right now since most advice to this would be not to post every day), is really hard. You are letting yourself down, even if in the long run it is for the best. I’m not letting up on my challenge, but this is my “life post” because I felt doing a TTT would be disingenuous (honestly couldn’t put together 10 of any one genre unless I spent WAY more time on it), and maybe I’ll feel better and reinvigorated tomorrow.

Blogging can be a ton of fun, a way to keep in touch with people who love the things you are blogging about as much as you do, but for me it has always been a battle to stay motivated enough to continue. Maybe this means I shouldn’t do it or that I’m not doing it in the right way, I don’t know. I love the people I have met through book blogging and wouldn’t trade them for anything, but the passion to review and to squee over book hauls has lessened. Now that I’m broke the latter isn’t really going to happen either (cancelled most pre-orders) so there’s that too.

On the other hand the Ides of March readathon is the 13th-17th and I AM still excited for that. There is always something cool for bookish people right? You never know where the next adventure will take you or whether you will find the series that jumps to the top of your favorites list (see The Elemental Series by Brigid Kemmerer last week). Thanks for reading this rambling pile of garbage if you made it to the end. No need to comment, this is (as always really) just for me. See you tomorrow.

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