Day 54: Bedtime Stories For Children You Hate by Antoinette Bergin
Summary From Amazon:
Hate cute stories? Hate happy endings? Hate children? Not quite right in the head? If so, this deliciously twisted storybook is dedicated just to you.
Includes “Your Upstairs Neighbor Kills People” and “Blood in the Sink”. You know you want this book. It can be our secret.
**NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN**
Twitter is an amazing thing. I follow a ton of bookish people so today I happened upon this article that one of them tweeted out which is all about weird eBooks. This guy decided to read a ton of them, 500+ independently published pieces in fact, and this was in his top 5 so I figured I’d give it, and at least a couple of the others on that top 5 a shot.
As this is a collection of short stories I figured I’d pick 3 like I normally do, this time my top 3 since I’m in a pretty happy mood. ^.^ So without further ado, my top 3 stories from Bedtime Stories For Children You Hate (in reverse order):
3. Your Upstairs Neighbor Kills People: A fun, creepy story that conveys a bunch of different potential messages that kids could learn from. Trust your friend when they say they’ve got a creepy dude upstairs that kills people, always a good rule to follow. If your friend seems crazy (insane kind) it’s probably because they are, you should find a new friend. If you associate with clowns there is a deeper problem there. Moral of the story: Bounty hunters aren’t to be trusted, especially ones that are actually serial killers.
2. I Said Not to Touch That: Really annoying kid meets human being with limited patience. The kid touches everything no matter what the well-meaning nanny says because he’s a spoiled brat. The nanny comes up with a plan, that plan may or may not cause permanent damage in some way. It may or may not be hilarious. Moral of the story: Stop touching shit. (This is both literal and figurative)
1. Evie: A good kid gets scared by a tall guy in a big coat. Said good kid takes off running yelling for help but because people are essentially assholes glued to their phones no one does. The kid starts to sweat from the running away and their vision is momentarily impaired causing them to run into something and bust their head open a bit. The tall guy rushed to help the kid with a first aid kit. Moral of the story A: Not all tall, dark and seemingly-creepy guys actually are. Moral of the story B: Good people, primarily girls, can wind up in precarious situations with skirts not properly positioned and have a totally viable excuse for it. Moral of the Story C: Exercise is dangerous, knock it off.
I don’t know if I properly conveyed my enjoyment of this collection of short stories well, but nevertheless I certainly did! If you want a little humorous read this is a great choice. Thanks as always for reading, come back tomorrow for Day 55 and remember to tell your kids quality bedtime stories like these.